Are you looking for the perfect Instagram captions to roast your friends or enemies? Look no further! This article contains 100+ Instagram caption examples that are perfect for roasting. Whether you want to be funny, sarcastic, or brutally honest, there's a caption here for you. Check out the different categories below and find the perfect caption to spice up your Instagram posts.
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1. Instagram Captions for Roast for Funny
Lighten up, life is already too serious without you.
Maybe if you ate a little more makeup, you could be pretty on the inside.
I'm not a whack job, I'm just highly intelligent and surrounded by idiots.
You were the result of a nickelback concert and a spilled beer.
The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
Sorry, I can't date you. My dog doesn't like ugly people.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.
I thought I had seen it all, then I met you.
I'd like to see things from your perspective, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
If you were any less intelligent, we'd have to water you twice a week.
2. Instagram Captions for Roast for Sarcastic
Sure, I'd love to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I'm sorry, were you under the impression that I actually cared?
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.
Is there an app I can download to make you go away?
I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look.
I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.
I envy people who have never met you.
You bring out the best in people, when they see you, they instantly feel better about themselves.
You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen.
3. Instagram Captions for Roast for Brutal
You should have a warning label that says "Caution: Toxic."
You're so fake, Barbie is jealous.
You have a face made for radio.
I'm sorry, but ugly starts with U.
If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.
You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm just saying you have bad luck when it comes to thinking.
When they said "brains over beauty," you must have thought they said "trains"
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.
I'd call you a tool, but even they serve a purpose.
4. Instagram Captions for Roast for Savage
You're like a penny, worthless and annoying.
The zoo called, they want their animal back.
I'm allergic to stupidity, I break out in sarcasm.
If you were twice as smart, you'd still be the dumbest person in the room.
You're so full of shit, the toilet is jealous.
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
If laughter is the best medicine, then your face must be curing the world.
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
Your face is the reason why birth control exists.
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I really need to go to the bathroom.
Read also: 100+ Captions for Instagram Savage
5. Instagram Captions for Roast for Sassy
You're not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
I don't sugarcoat shit, I'm not Willy Wonka.
You're about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
I'm sarcastic because punching people is frowned upon.
If karma doesn't hit you, I will.
If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.
Your face is a good reminder for birth control.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma?
I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today.
Read also: 100+ Instagram Captions for Sassy Girl
6. Instagram Captions for Roast for Savage
Your face makes onions cry.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the ugliest of them all?
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?
You're like a Monday morning, nobody likes you.
Do everyone a favor and ignore yourself.
If I wanted a bitch, I'd adopt a dog.
I don't hate you, I'm just not excited about your existence.
You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
Your face could scare the shit out of a toilet.
I don't need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off.
Read also: 100+ Best Instagram Captions Savage
7. Instagram Captions for Roast for Hilarious
You're so ugly, when you look in the mirror, your reflection looks away.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had enough brain cells to form a thought?
Is your ass jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth?
You're the reason God created middle fingers.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
The only reason I'm talking to you is because I'm not too good to talk to trash.
If I wanted a bitch, I'd call a dog.
Your face makes a great case for birth control.
8. Instagram Captions for Roast for Witty
If your IQ was as high as your ego, maybe you'd be worth talking to.
I'm allergic to stupidity, I break out in sarcasm.
You're so fake, even China denied they made you.
If you were any less intelligent, we'd need to water you twice a week.
You're like a penny, two-faced and worthless.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
You may be a few inches taller, but that doesn't make you any smarter.
The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.
Your face has a strange ability to make time stand still. No one knows why.
You have the perfect face for radio. And a voice to match.
9. Instagram Captions for Roast for Ridiculous
Your face is like the Sun, it hurts to look at.
If stupidity was a crime, you'd serve a life sentence.
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you speak.
You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
I'd punch you, but that would be animal abuse.
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to use the bathroom.
I'm not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.
You're so full of shit, even the toilet is jealous.
You're the reason I need to pray every night.
10. Instagram Captions for Roast for Hilarious
I'm not saying you're ugly, but you have a face only a mother could love. And not always.
Some people bring happiness wherever they go. You bring happiness whenever you go.
If you were any more inbred, you'd be a sandwich.
Is your ass jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth?
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
Wow, you've really exceeded my expectations of how dumb someone can be.
I've met some pricks in my time, but you, my friend, are the whole cactus.
Sorry, I can't hang out right now. I'm too busy ignoring you.
Why don't you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale?
You're not ugly, you're just not someone everyone could masturbate to.
Conclusion
These 100+ Instagram captions for roast are perfect for adding a touch of humor and sass to your posts. Whether you're looking for funny, sarcastic, brutal, or savage captions, you'll find them all here. So go ahead, give your friends or enemies a taste of their own medicine and have some fun with these clever captions.